For one American family, a weekend visit to a water park was anything but a fun experience. While typically a great spot to unwind, catch some sun and spend quality time with family members, this particular family did not end up having a good experience, primarily as a result of something that many would consider being ridiculous. Just a couple of minutes after entering the water park, Madelyn Scheaffer was asked to leave as a result of what she was wearing. While it is easy to imagine that one of the members of staff must have made a mistake in doing so, intentional or not, it was clear that she was not going to take what had happened lying down.
Woman Gets Asked To Leave Water Park On The Basis Of Her Outfit
Introducing Madelyn
Born and raised in Missouri, Madelyn Scheaffer is someone who always walks with her head held high, especially when she is surrounded by her close relatives. Known for her caring nature and maternal instinct, her friends will tell you that she typically puts her own needs aside in order to make others feel good. A visit to a local water park in her mid-forties would be something she will never forget, and for a short while after, her confidence and self-esteem took a serious knock that nobody could have seen coming.
Introducing Madelyn
The Water Park Under Fire
Nobody could have predicted that the simple act of asking Madelyn to leave would result in a major scandal that would trend on social media in the coming weeks. The park did what they could to sweep the story under the rug, but as the story got shared among people who had experienced similar treatment, it became clear that there would be no stopping it. It’s hard to imagine that a water park of all places would be under scrutiny for its inclusivity policies, a lesson that Madelyn had to learn the hard way on that fateful summer’s day.
The Water Park Under Fire
Madelyn’s Journey With Her Body
In 2005, Madelyn woke up one morning asking herself some tough questions about her life. She was starting to ponder a change, especially as her weight had started to impact her health and her ability to spend time with her family outdoors. In a bizarre twist, a slip and a fall in the bathtub one morning would result in her spending time in the hospital with a slipped disc in her back. This would be the straw that broke the camel’s back, and she knew that things were going to start changing from here.
Madelyns Journey With Her Body
Time For Decisive Action
In the time leading up to her accident, Madelyn had not put a lot of emphasis on leading a healthy lifestyle, and her weight had increased dramatically in recent years. As she was laying in the hospital bed, she started to reconsider her choices and expressed a wish to get her self confidence back up. It was time to lessen the suffering, and for her to do what she could to ensure that she could lead a happier, more active lifestyle.
Time For Decisive Action
A Telltale Sign of Her Low Self Esteem
As Madelyn was waiting for paramedics to arrive after her slip in the tub, she was in such excruciating pain that she could barely move. It was safe to assume that she would be happy to see the medics, but in fact, she asked them to leave when they got there. As it turns out, her self-esteem was so low that she didn’t even believe that she was worthy of accepting treatment and care. This was rock bottom, and what was to follow in the month ahead would counteract this in a big way.
A Telltale Sign Of Her Low Self Esteem
Realising She Had Been Neglecting Her Body
Laying in the bathtub with a slipped disc, Madelyn took a second to ask herself how she had gotten here in the first place. It wouldn’t take much introspection for her to realize that she had always put others before herself, and had neglected her own needs. This was evident due to her ballooning weight in recent years. This was the turning point she had been waiting to get to – it was time to put herself first for once.
Realising She Had Been Neglecting Her Body
A Glimpse Into The Future
The paramedics can attest to the fact that the Madelyn who was paralyzed in the bathtub was not someone who seemed to be in control of her life. Little did they know what a major turning point the experience was going to be, and that a year later she would be on a path to getting into the best shape of her life. This was a baby step in a bigger process that would eventually lead to her not even recognizing the person looking back at her in the mirror.
A Glimpse Into The Future
Two Years Later: A Fitness Fanatic Emerges
In less than 24 months, Madelyn worked to get rid of over 100 pounds of excess weight. She knew that people who followed fad diets may lose weight quickly, but she also knew that the weight tends to come back on just as quickly. She decided to opt for a slow and steady approach, increasing her activity incrementally and making smarter decisions about what she was consuming on a daily basis. Madelyn would prove even more successful five years down the line, having kept the weight off over all that time as well.
Two Years Later A Fitness Fanatic Emerges
The Confidence To Put On A Bathing Suit
At her goal weight of 170 pounds, now in her mid-forties, Madelyn was ready to start showing the world just how confident she had gotten since the day she ended up in the hospital from the fall. The family had been planning a visit to Adventure Oasis water park, and she knew it would be such a great opportunity for her to wear her brand new black bikini for the first time. She was finally confident enough to do so after years of hard work and dedication to a healthier lifestyle.
The Confidence To Put On A Bathing Suit
Arriving at the Park, “Gym Body” Ready
Arriving at the water park, Madelyn could see people of all ages, shapes, and sizes frolicking in and around the pool area. She was happy to see this, as she figured that she wouldn’t stand out too much in the crowd, and she could blend in with all the “normal” people. Little did she know that one of the members of staff had been keeping an eye on her since she entered, ready to confront her about what she was wearing.
Arriving At The Park Gym Body Ready
Strengthening Her Mind and Body
Anybody who has been on a weight-loss journey knows that it requires many personal changes, discipline, and a lot of hard work. Madelyn’s “slow and steady” approach also did wonders in allowing her to strengthen her mind alongside her body, resulting in her feeling confident and happy once she hit her goal weight. For some people, especially those who have lost a large amount of weight, the negative self-talk still persists. Madelyn didn’t want to entertain the self-talk, but an encounter with the water park staff would shake up the foundation of all the hard work she had done so far.
Strengthening Her Mind And Body
A Quick Swim Turns Sour
Once everyone was settled next to the pool area, Madelyn told her family members that she was ready to cool off in the pool. Diving in and feeling refreshed, it would barely be a minute after her head popped out of the water before she was approached by two female staff members of the park. Taking a second to process what they were telling her, she asked them to repeat themselves, to make sure that she was hearing what they were telling her correctly.
A Quick Swim Turns Sour
Criticising With No Context
The employees were about to lay harsh criticism on Madelyn, and the mental strength she had been building up as part of her transformation was about to be tested. Without any context to what she had been through, they proceeded to tell her that she was inappropriately dressed for the pool area. Wearing her brand new black bikini for the first time, and taking a look around at the many others in the pool alongside her, she could hardly believe this was happening.
Criticising With No Context
The Inappropriate Bikini Bottoms
After asking the employees to repeat themselves, it was clear that they were about to lose their temper with her. She just wanted to make sure that she was understanding what they were saying. They reiterated that her bikini bottoms were too small, and inappropriate for what is well known as a “family park”. What was meant to be a joyful moment of Madelyn coming into her own and wearing something she had worked for years to be able to do, came crashing down in an instant?
The Inappropriate Bikini Bottoms
Not The Most Revealing Bikini At The Park
Taking another glance around the pool area, Madelyn noted that there were many others who were more scantily clad than she was, and she reiterated to the staff that she was wearing regular-sized bikini bottoms just like a majority of the visitors at the water park. She couldn’t help them but wonder whether she had been singled out by the younger employees, or if they had seriously received a complaint in the short time she had been at the park with her family.
Not The Most Revealing Bikini At The Park
The Humiliation Sets In
Even though she wished she felt different at the time, in one small instant everything she had worked for felt like it had washed away in the waters of the crystal blue pool. This was not because she had been asked to cover up, but because the employees had gone a step further and asked her to leave the park as a result of her outfit. Her family recalls that this felt like unfair treatment, and that Madelyn had been unjustly violated that day based on the opinion of one or two people.
The Humiliation Sets In
Shock At The Situation
Madelyn’s feelings would soon turn from shock, to embarrassment, to anger. Naturally, she was mortified at the request, and having to do a “walk of shame” from the pool area to the exit alongside her family. At first, she insisted that she was not going to leave the park. She rationalized with herself that she had done too much to get her confidence here, and that the opinion of a pair of ignorant people was not going to result in her undoing all the years of work she had done towards improving her self-esteem.
Shock At The Situation
Feeling Singled Out
Madelyn’s body may have looked a little different in comparison to some of the younger women around the park, but this was no reason for her to be shamed in such a public and humiliating way. This had also happened as soon as she was isolated and away from her family, when she was at her most vulnerable. Her family recalls that she had been so excited about the visit to the water park that day, and that she had wanted to shout from the rooftops about the fact that she was in a bikini for the first time in her life.
Feeling Singled Out
Embracing Her Body
Madelyn knew that she embraced her own body already, but she was curious as to why the girls had thought to single her out in the first place. She asked them to flat out why this had happened, and they reiterated that it really only had to do with the size of her bikini bottoms. Madelyn knew that these were regular bikini bottoms and nothing about the way it fit her body would be deemed inappropriate on anybody else. She could understand the difference if she had been wearing a thong or something similar, but this was not the case.
Embracing Her Body
Not Shying Away From Confrontation
The old Madelyn would have quietened down and shied away from the confrontation, especially as she didn’t have the self-confidence to defend herself. As the two women continued to tell her what was wrong with her body, for the first time in her life she got an urge to defend herself, taking pride in the hard work she had done to achieve this point. Madelyn was not about to “let this one slide” and wanted to stand up for herself, as she had struggled to do in the past.
Not Shying Away From Confrontation
Trust in the Difficult
While talking to the water park employees, Madelyn recalled an old saying that encourages us to “trust in the difficult”. This meant that anything challenging that we face in our lives will ultimately result in an opportunity to learn and grow. If these women thought they could tear her down, Madelyn knew that by trusting this difficult moment, she would come out stronger in the long run.
Trust In The Difficult
The Ball Is In Your Court
As she continued to defend herself, one of the staff members told Madelyn that she effectively had two choices. The first, was to put on a pair of pants to cover her bottoms, or the second was to leave the park right away. Setting an ultimatum typically doesn’t end well in any negotiation, and Madelyn was not trying to be difficult when she asked to speak to their supervisor. She was standing up for herself and needed to hear from another person if what she was wearing was in fact inappropriate to the family environment that day.
The Ball Is In Your Court
The Situation Escalates
The supervisor would in fact end up echoing the sentiment of the staff members, to which Madelyn could not believe her ears. She swiftly told him that she would not be covering up, and that if they wanted her to leave, they would need to get a police escort for her to do so. Things were growing more tense each minute, and Madelyn’s family had now gotten involved. The already embarrassing situation was not generating more attention, with park-goers wondering what all the fuss was about in the first place.
The Situation Escalates
The Police Get Involved
Standing his ground, the park supervisor eventually called the police and asked them to escort her out of the premises. This caused a major commotion, as most of the park came to a standstill to see what was going on. Naturally, this added to Madelyn’s feelings of embarrassment and shame. The officers noted that while they didn’t necessarily agree with the decision of the park, they were simply there to help keep the peace and do their jobs. One thing that stands out in Madelyn’s memory of the events of that day is the bewildered expressions the officers had on their faces after hearing what had happened.
The Police Get Involved
The Story Gets Shared On Social Media
As soon as she got home, a slightly defeated Madelyn decided that she needed to speak out about what had happened, in case the same had happened to someone else. She wrote a lengthy post including a reference to the police officers on the scene, who had been compassionate and expressed that the situation itself was rather unbelievable. It wouldn’t be long until the post started being shared by friends and family, and ultimately, it reached more members of the general public as the post went viral.
The Story Gets Shared On Social Media
The Nature of the Post
Addressing her audience of friends on Facebook directly, Madelyn began by expressing that in her 43 year life, she had never had the confidence to wear a bikini and today was meant to be a momentous occasion for her. The post mentioned that she was not about to be victimized because of something as ridiculous as a dispute over the size of her swimming costume. Naturally, this led to a lot of friends commenting in her defense, and reminding her of all the hard work she had done to come so far on her journey of personal wellbeing.
The Nature Of The Post
A Regular Two-Piece Bikini
Knowing that she may face some questions about the nature of her prized bikini, she preempted comments by clarifying that she had been wearing a regular two-piece string bikini at the time of the incident, and that the pictures would show that it was nothing extravagant or out of the ordinary. She expressed that she didn’t want anyone else to go through the humiliation that she had to endure that day, wondering whether it had happened to anyone else in another park across the country.
A Regular Two Piece Bikini
Discrimination and Body Positivity
It was evident that Madelyn felt like she was being discriminated against for two things: her body shape, and her age. This was the case because younger women were wearing the same things in and around the park, and they hadn’t faced the same questions that she had to answer that day. After sharing the post, she wondered about why she was singled out to begin with. She knew that she shouldn’t dwell on this too long, banking on the support of her family to help her through the ordeal.
Discrimination And Body Positivity
Madelyn’s Story Goes National
Social media is undeniably powerful in getting a message out to the world, and a few days after Madelyn wrote her post, it had been shared nationally and internationally. Commenters suggested anger and shock at how she had been treated, and many wondered if others faced similar problems at water parks around the world. When she saw the response, Madelyn realized that she had to take further action to get her story out there, in order to prevent others from being discriminated against in the future.
Madelyns Story Goes National
Exploring Alternative Options To Tell Her Story
While there’s no denying the influence of a viral social media post online, Madelyn knew she had to explore other mediums if she was going to tell her story to the mass market in the US. She knew at that moment that she was taking a stand for herself and other women who had faced body shaming in their lives. Many would not have had the courage to come forward and share their stories, but Madelyn knew that all the work she had done on her self esteem was about to give her the confidence to tell the story with her head held high.
Exploring Alternative Options To Tell Her Story
The Media Catches Wind Of The Story
Knowing she wanted to share her story beyond social media, Madelyn made a call to the local news network. To her surprise, they immediately opened up a spot for her to get on-air that evening. While she was in the green room waiting to go on air, many people who had seen her story online approached her to extend their support for what she was doing. Some even went as far as to compliment her bikini! This helped to curb some of the nerves related to being on television, and in a way, it gave her a confidence boost before calmly talking about what happened to the news anchor that night.
The Media Catches Wind Of The Story
The Story Takes On New Life
After appearing on television, Madelyn noticed that her Facebook post got even more engagement and shares, with the comment section filling up with messages of support and admiration. She decided that a follow-up post would be the right thing to do, thanking everyone who had been in touch. Little did she know that she would receive more than 500 letters in response to her story, reaching as far as Greece, Hong Kong and even South America. In a bizarre turn of events, this traumatic incident had actually helped her to work through any lingering confidence issues that still needed to be resolved.
The Story Takes On New Life
Gaining Perspective on How Society Views Beauty
Talking about the experience a short while after, Madelyn mentioned that she had a renewed perspective on what society deems is “beautiful” thanks to the feedback she received online. Her biggest learning was that the definition of beauty changed between countries and cultures, and sometimes even between states within the U.S. In a way, she felt that she had somewhat of a narrow view of it in the past, holding herself up to an unrealistic standard. As it turns out, the incident had given her a different outlook on her own beauty, as well as the beauty of others.
Gaining Perspective On How Society Views Beauty
Embracing That People Come In All Shapes and Sizes
Madelyn also reflected on how beautiful the human body was regardless of its shape and size, as well as the age of the person. This was a lesson she wished she had learned when she was younger, as it would have allowed her to improve her self-esteem and to lead a happier life growing up. She decided to take the positives that she could from the experience, while in the back of her mind she wondered whether the water park was going to contact her about the incident at all.
Embracing That People Come In All Shapes And Sizes
No Money, Just a Change in Policy
Madelyn had no interest in being compensated from the park for this troubling incident, and it never even crossed her mind that they may offer her some money in order for the story to go away. What she did want, was for them to change their “appropriate swimming attire” policy, which clearly needed a revisit. Aside from this, she hoped that her story would encourage other water park owners to consider sensitivity training for their staff, who unknowingly could seriously damage the self-esteem of one of their patrons while making a snap judgment about the shape of their bodies.
No Money Just A Change In Policy
Not an Uncommon Occurrence
Madelyn hoped that this story would set a good example for water parks across the board, but little did she know that this type of discrimination was happening in other public spaces as well. While Madelyn’s story was doing its rounds, people turned to social media to discuss instances where this had also happened to them, and as our next story shows, even a casual space like the gym can result in you being targeted (and effectively ostracised) for what you’re wearing.
Not An Uncommon Occurrence
An Incident at the Gym
College student Sarah Villafan was well known in her local gym in Charleston, especially as she was often seen working out after her classes. Like Madelyn, she would also be asked to leave one day based on how she had been dressed. On that fateful day, she had planned on visiting the gym right after her final class, which was not altogether uncommon for her. It wouldn’t be long until she was approached by a member of staff for what she was wearing.
An Incident At The Gym
The Activewear Phenomenon
It’s fairly common these days to see people doubling up on activewear during the course of the day, especially on university campuses. A student may get dressed in this type of clothing in anticipation of going to the gym over lunch, or when they have a gap in their class schedules. This is a regular occurrence on campuses in the United States, so there was nothing out of the ordinary about Sarah doing so on the day that she faced questions from staff at the gym.
The Activewear Phenomenon
Ready For Her Usual Gym Workout
Arriving at the gym that afternoon, Sarah was wearing what she had put on that morning, namely black legging and a sleeveless crop top. While showing some skin, she wasn’t overly exposed and would hardly have turned any heads during the course of the day. She wasn’t wearing anything that people wouldn’t typically see on social media apps like Instagram from big-time influencers who are followed by millions of people.
Ready For Her Usual Gym Workout
Confronted By The Gym Staff
About thirty minutes into her workout, Sarah was approached by a staff member at the gym. In plain language, she was told that her shirt was inappropriate and that she would need to change if she wanted to carry on with the second half of her workout. Surprised and taken aback just as Madelyn had been in the water park incident, she took a second to process what she was being told.
Confronted By The Gym Staff
Taking The Request In Her Stride
Sarah took a second before responding to the employee, composing herself and letting the staff member of the gym know that she didn’t have another shirt to change into. She wanted to finish off her workout and felt somewhat uneasy about having been approached out of the blue. Opting to carry on with her workout, she feared that she might be approached by a supervisor in due course, waiting with bated breath to hear if she would be asked to leave again.
Taking The Request In Her Stride
The Gym Sets an Ultimatum
It wouldn’t even be a couple of minutes later before she was approached by a second member of staff, who asked her to stop her workout and to put another shirt on. Sarah’s frustration levels were starting to grow, and she bit back with a sharp retort, telling the employee that she was already wearing a shirt. She didn’t know it at the time, but the gym was about to issue an ultimatum that she never thought she would hear.
The Gym Sets An Ultimatum
A Growing Confrontation
As Sarah was about to continue with her workout, the staff member asked her once again to put on a “whole shirt”. The employee explained that it was an official policy of the gym that patrons needed to be covered in full, and that she was in violation of that policy by being there in a crop top with an exposed midriff. Sarah did not feel like she was inappropriately dressed, and felt singled out among the crowd of others who may well also fall into this grey-area of being “fully clothed”.
A Growing Confrontation
The Gym Boss Pays Sarah a Visit
As a result of Sarah’s refusal to get changed, mostly because she didn’t have another shirt in her bag, the employee mentioned that she was going to call her boss if she didn’t comply with her request. Keen to resolve the confrontation and to give her side of the story to an impartial party, Sarah asked the gym employee to call her boss over, so they could straighten out the issue once and for all.
The Gym Boss Pays Sarah A Visit
Sarah is Asked To Leave The Gym
As it turns out, the manager of the gym was anything but sympathetic to her explanation, leaving her with two choices: get changed immediately, or leave right away. Sarah couldn’t believe that this was their stance, and she was mortified that people around them had stopped their workouts to see what was going on. Embarrassed, Sarah wondered about what she should do next.
Sarah Is Asked To Leave The Gym
Fighting For Her Voice To Be Heard
Sarah knew just what she was about to deal with when the manager introduced himself as “boss”. This was going to be one of those instances where a man asserts his power over women, and she was in all likelihood expected to be submissive to this. He instructed her to put on a shirt or leave right away, and Sarah refused outright. This increased tensions between her and the manager and the pair were now at a stalemate in this confrontation.
Fighting For Her Voice To Be Heard
A Liberal Outfit Choice, But Not a Revealing One
A great gym outfit doubles up as a comfortable choice for everyday use, as well as giving you ample support for all kinds of workouts. Designers had made this a priority in their creations in the last couple of decades, and while outfits have gotten more revealing in the Western world, they are never excessive in this regard, especially as there are practical considerations to keep in mind. She felt strongly about this even as she was confronted by three members of the gym staff.
A Liberal Outfit Choice But Not A Revealing One
Ending The Stalemate: Sarah Heads Home
Realizing that neither party was going to budge, Sarah decided to be the bigger person, and to walk away from the incident before it escalated too much. Determined to leave with her head held high, she reminded herself that this was just a misunderstanding, and had very little to do with her own body, confidence and how she should feel about the way she dresses. She was in the wrong time at the wrong place , but also felt that sharing her story would be important, as similarly to Madelyn, she wanted the dress policy to be revisited and amended at the gym.
Ending The Stalemate Sarah Heads Home
Sarah Takes To Social Media
As she got home, Sarah penned a post about the incident, expressing her disbelief that she had been singled out for something so trivial. Disappointed and frustrated, she tried not to let her anger cloud her judgment. She didn’t want sympathy for what had happened, rather asking for support and new ways to help change the archaic clothing policies in public spaces like gyms and parks alike. Similar to Madelyn’s post, Sarah’s also went viral, encouraging many people around the world to share stories of where they had been shamed for what they were wearing. As a result, many would start to advocate for sensitivity training for staff in public spaces, while also asking for dress policies to be amended where the company may benefit from moving more with the times. These were baby steps in a bid for big changes moving into the future.
Sarah Takes To Social Media